Tottenham to beat Man.Utd. 3-1. Gomes to score first. Tottenham to be awarded a penalty and pigs to crash land in the centre circle at half time. Tottenham to beat the top three in consecutive games and Bale to score in all three games. Which of these bets is the fantasy one?
You've all seen them in betting shop windows. £10 pays £680. Nice odds and sometimes you get tempted. The odds against us beating United are not that outrageous and the chance of Bale scoring again not that unlikely. Now the time to place the three in a row bet was before the Arsenal game but I don't know of any bookmaker who even thought of such a wager. On current form of club and player it's not such a silly idea.
We are away from home and that makes a difference but Lennon, Palacios Corluka and King might make an appearance so we are stronger in theory than for the Chelsea game. Mr.Ferguson or his henchmen in the press have floated the 'Bale for Man.Utd' spoiler just before the game but we expected that. Modric will be next and we shouldn't be surprised or put off. It's a sign that they are as nervous as we are about the game. Normally they just ignore us so we are beginning to make our mark. It's like the Tory Press muckraking amongst that nice Mr. Clegg's dustbins. Welcome to the big-time.
Villa and City are still breathing down our necks so a point would be handy. That would be 7/9 from these difficult games and should secure Europe if we perform in the last three games. We made the Chelsea game look easy and played well against Arsenal. A win would mean that we have beaten all of the old top four this season and laid a number of myths to rest. The mental strength theory would hopefully take a fatal beating.
Man.Utd need to win this too so it might be a cautious and cagey affair. But only if we let it. Lets take it to them and give it a go. Recent history is against us, the bookies are against us, the ref will probably be against us, the pitch, the weather, Old Moore's Almanac and probably some of our own fans despite the recent successes.
The 'what's the point of qualifying for the Champions League? We'll only do an Everton and get knocked out in the qualifying.' brigade for a start. Well let's call the whole game off in that case and take the wife down to Tesco's. I think the doubters are finally coming round and I firmly believe that we can beat United and make fourth. I've been under this delusion the whole season but dreams can sometimes come true if, like Peter Pan, you have faith, trust and a little bit of Pixie Dust. If that's not Luka Modric I'll stab meself with this hook!
As Danny Blanchflower might have said, ' 2-0 to Spurs and Pavlyuchenko to get a hat-trick' Now Ladbroke's or William Hill? Who shall I favour with my pension?
Elsewhere we seem to be owed £1 million by Portsmouth for a player who never actually signed. Now I understand that nothing illegal is involved just a double deal, apt phrase, for two players, Kaboul and Bercovic, one of whom didn't sign and we want some money back as we paid up front. In fact apparently we were doing them a favour as they needed the cash. The Kranjcar deal was another 'steal'. The presence of Harry lurking in the background and the faintly fishy smell that surrounds all our dealings on the South Coast makes me inclined to write this money off.
Shareholders may object but they are hardly going to vote out the Board at the moment are they. In any case Daniel Levy could probably sell them out of date bagels by the lorry load. Write it off and pitch camp on the moral high ground. We've picked over the corpse of Portsmouth enough without boiling up the bones to make soup. While we're at it why not divert one of those bagel lorries to the supporters' club. Why? Because we're Tottenham that's why. What are the odds on this happening? I'll check while I'm down at the bookies.