The Blog that's not always wrong.

Friday, 29 October 2010

Greg Meyer's guest column: 'The Theatre of Horrors'

Greg is cautiously pessimistic and tentatively hopeful, a position only he can get into following a career as an escapologist's assistant at a travelling circus. Can Horror Stories have happy endings? All will be revealed at Saturday teatime.
  Either way pints will be downed at A Kent Pub to celebrate or drown sorrows. Incidently Spurs fans get a free pint on production of a Spurs related tattoo to Mine Host.  I think that's right. Best check first before removing any garments.

Friday 29 October 2010.
Spurs At The Theatre Of Horrors  ...  Last Spurs Win Last Century ... Spurs In Halloween Shocker.
Coctails at four, canapes at five , with the main fare of devilled Spurs served at five thirty.
Spurs at Old Trafford on Saturday evening. Never. Thats Wayne and Colleen reconciling at the Burj Al Arab pub in Dubai. Although apparently it was chicken nuggets for Wayne. At two thousand pounds per night we'll probably stick to more ecomical fare at the Burj Al Kent. Same Dubai pub that John Terry reconciled with Mrs Terry after the Bridge too far fiasco. Same room probably. 
The Red Cafe has never been a palatable venue for Spurs. Last time we won there most of our pub regulars had not even started work on securing the succession of new Spurs fans.
A Quick Glance At The Menu.
Surely when our mob kick off the first 15 minutes might see some settled selections rather than the hari kari efforts well in evidence at the San Siro and some other places too this season. If we stay away from reckless and headless chook defending then we might then be able to digest more equably some...
Key And Tasty Dishes.
Van der Vart and a Man Marker.
Probably Darren Fletcher. Perhaps our pub nomination for the worlds most least skilful tackler, Paul Scholes, may help out. Unfortunately when Scholes "helps out" he is unlikely to be punished sufficiently. The combination of Referee Mark Clutterbuck and Old Trafford will see to that.
Bale vs Rafael Da Silva.
Our lawyer cannot see the Red Knight using Gary Neville. His brother was adequate last week for Everton but Etherington of Stoke slaughtered Gary last week. A half time shower for Gary resulted. Yes I know Bale is no Etherington. Streaks ahead.
A Bulgarian Pin Up with A Small Mexican Bean vs Kaboul and Gallas.
Actually it is "Little Pea". Javier Hernadez must have had some interesting school days with a moniker like that. Whatever this area is a worrying one for Spurs. We can only hope Younes continues his impressive form with Gallas staying awake.
Our Favourite Short Little Fast Bloke vs Evra.
Aaron Lennon is showing signs of a return to form. As well history between these two has seen Lennon usually win out. Spurs will need both flanks firing to stretch United.
Missing From The Menu.
With Giggs, Rooney and Owen unavailable our pub breathe more easily. No Huddlestone, Defoe and the centre back department for Spurs. Probably means Luka Modric to start. After last week his continued progress with Rafael van der Class looks tempting.
Halloween hoodoo or not still plenty to smile about ...
At A Kent Pub.
Given the disasterous history of this fixture our gardener is pushing a barrow(sorry) for Sandro to start. Mrs Palacios' boy then takes second half. Perhaps a little early for the Brazilian. I wonder how big Mrs Jenas is.
Edwin van der Sar turns 40 today. A present for Spurs tommorrow too much to ask. The general feeling here is guarded optimism. Translated. Lets get it over with as quick as possible.
Mind if the fizzy French stuff breaks out here on Saturday night and not because of halloween then what a perfect entree to our date at a certain White Hart Lane pizza restaurant on Tuesday evening.
Roll on Inter Milan.
Cheers ... a draw maybe ... Greg Meyer.       coys.


Anonymous said...

Jimmy we have just lost the one person who could have won us this and the Everton game. What the hell has happened to him our Tom i hope its nothing to do with the rumours about Red Nose bidding for him . Also i heard on Talk Sport Bales not playing. I hope Harry his not keeping them for The Milan game because we could find ourselves sucked into the bottom Half in a few weeks our Home form is not good enough yet. Why do we have to have the one person who kept our record of not winning at Old Tragic so spectacularly intact with the record 2ft over the line goal decision. He was suspended further up the line for owing 40,000 in Gambling Depts lets hope he has backed Spurs this time he owes it to us. COYS DAVSPURS

Anonymous said...

If Hudd, Defoe and King were available, then...nah...let's not tease ourselves with that one.

~ Spooky

Anonymous said...

Dear Jimmy G2,
Simply put, you are the only place I ever need to visit when requiring a shoulder to cry on, or a mate to hug post match. But lately you have been sharing your scribing duties with another. I'm sure he's a top fella, and the weekly effort you put in must put a strain on Gardening and other duties, but I think it's much better if he's quietly packed of back to his nice pub in Kent, and then we'll promise never to mention the incident again. You are a fine, mature and masterful Cheddar, where as we are sometimes left to taste a rather empty Edam.
Mr Bigg (strangely of Kent too)

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