Scary rumour No1. First of a series.
Come out Gareth. It's all right, he'll be on our side.
Against Charlton we avoided an obvious banana skin without too much trouble, although it needed the creativity of Modric to light our path. The pairing of Sandro and Palacios seemed a bit heavy handed for the likes of Charlton but once the little maestro came on for Palacios we scored three within 15 minutes of the restart to put the game to bed.
Townsend in his senior debut in the Premiership did a Danny Rose; not only scoring but showing enough to make him a prime subject for upgrading. He will have to wait until next season as he is going out on loan. He can play on either wing and looks a good prospect. Many had already taken note after his pre-season appearances at Bournemouth and in America.
I am winging this a little as there were no streams available for the match probably because we were paired with the Manchester/ Liverpool game for the 1.30 start. Even the Radio London stream took 20 minutes to get going. I've seen the highlights, read all the newspaper and blog accounts and I can practically smell the dressing room atmosphere; a heady mixture of Vera Wang After- Shave and Goddard's Horse Oil Linament. Footballers and my Granny used to swear by it in the old days. The horse oil not the aftershave. Aftershave wasn't manly until Henry Cooper started splashing 'Brut' all over him and gave it some credibility.
Defoe looked lively and scored twice in two minutes to settle the game and any rising nerves. Modric stole the show and Townsend certainly made his mark. Dawson was strong and Cudocini made a couple of good saves. We had to wait until the 49th minute for the opener but after that it was more or less a formality.
As I write Beckham has arrived but only to train and was wearing a Tottenham track suit to prove it. I haven't checked in the last half hour so he might have signed on a permanent basis or become Assistant Manager, mascot or Chairman by now. At least the circus will only last a month and Harry won't be able to give him even a token appearance. Insurance or some legal complication protected us from complete. submission to the Gods of the media. Harry did his best to placate them but it was not to be. Another large banana skin avoided but more by luck than judgment.
If the starting 11 on Sunday (edit) not Gomes/Hutton/Dawson/Gallas/Ekotto // Lennon/ Palacios/Modric/Bale //Van der Vaart/Crouch I will treat Mrs.JimmyG2 to a fish and chip supper even if we lose. The only selection difficulty is the Jenas, Palacios, Sandro triangle. I think Harry will start with Wilson but I think the clock is ticking on his Spurs career.
Man.Utd arrive to examine our top four credentials in earnest. They haven’t lost yet but are not playing that well. We on the other hand, until Everton, have been flying and this is a very good time to meet them at the Lane. A win is possible, a draw likely, and a loss unthinkable. I'm not paid to think the unthinkable: that's way above my salary grade.
Meanwhile Suarez who I could have sworn we signed in both the last two transfer windows and who I assumed had been waiting at the Heathrow baggage carousel for his executive Louis Vuisson matching luggage has still not arrived. Perhaps it's all part of Harry's cunning plan to snaffle him or Dzeko and slip them into the Lane while everyone is focussed on our David. Local boy made good but not locally.
Carroll has been ruled out and so too Wolfswinkel, don't laugh, because his name won't fit on our shirts and he would therefor be in breach of contract. Huddlestone wears a larger fitting for those with sharp eyes. You think I'm making this up? You should read the rumours in the daily press or on some of the more exotic football sites.
Keane and Bentley are almost definitely, that is probably, on their way out, possibly on loan, maybe. My secretary is questioning that last sentence but I've assured her that it is a fair summary of the situation. Any strikers out there are invited to submit applications, on a postcard with references from their Mum if they like, as soon as possible. We need a striker to replace Keane in the eventually that he actually goes, and frankly even if he doesn't.
So we are a third of the way through the transfer window and, as you can see from the above, nothing much is happening. Harry was so upset by the ' Wheeler Dealer' jibe that he is apparently refusing to buy anyone despite Daniel Levy begging him to spend some money. Apart from a holding striker we are sorted. Bassong has played left back; Gallas has played right back and more back four recruits would appear superfluous. We have Walker and Caulker coming through for next season.
Suarez, or the 'Cannibal of Ajax' as he is known in parts of the Dutch media has an impressive strike record but does not usually play as a lone front man and his temperament is suspect. He might take time to settle but he's young enough at 23 and in today's climate is verging on a give-away at £20 million. Inspect his teeth with care Harry. Always look a gift horse in the mouth.
So the question is do we take a chance or give it a miss and avoid yet another banana skin? Well it's not my money so I say, 'Give it a go!' We can't rely on Rafael and Gareth to keep coming up with the goods although the re-appearance of Jermaine should help.
A late flying banana skin in the shape of Mr.Phillip John Neville (33) has been seen on the rumour boards. David Beckham and now Neville. It' must beManchester Re-United. Oh well if you can't beat them sign up their has-beens. Harry has clearly decided that all that lies between us and the title is an addition of the 'been there: done that' brigade. I prefer currently quality players myself. Neville is still a decent player but 'next level'?. It's probably just a ploy to get Piennar though what we would do with him I'm not sure.
Perhaps they should start printing, 'Dispose of outer wrapping with environmental awareness and care' on bananas. Then we can all relax.