How you gonna get back to The Lane Daniel ?
Plenty to take our minds of the football which frankly at the moment is not a bad thing. The petition to save Andy Gray's job at Sky has now accumulated over 6 signatures in the last 48 hours, five from his own family and one from a Mr.Richard Keys who has been distracted from rallying round his oppressive chum by having to resign himself. Possibly the least lamented sackings and resignations in the history of industrial relations. The irony is that they fell foul of sexism rather than their complete incompetence and bias as football experts.
The Stadium controversy has gone global at least in N17. Actually now that the Olympic Stadium has been put out of bounds politically by the athletics' lobby and Levy has declared the NPD 'not viable' I say WHL and Tottenham High Road may be dumps but at least they are our dumps. If it saves anything between £250/£450 million and rising to put an extra 20,000 thousand bums on seats then let's call the whole thing off.
Levy has burned his bridges in a somewhat spectacular fashion. Only last month the NPD was a runner and now it's 'not viable'. He can hardly declare it viable in a couple of weeks time when we don't get the OS. He is hinting that we will move in any case. Where? Ground share with Arsenal? Or W.Ham at the OS? Wembley? A green-field site somewhere in Hertfordshire? Or Hackney Marshes? The heat generated from these suggestions might advance global warming by a couple of centuries and may make the whole discussion purely academic.
However your Uncle Jimmy has a simple and effective remedy which cuts straight to the heart of the problem and solves everything, except 'World Peace' obviously. It is this: increase all ticket prices and subscriptions by a third and thereby effectively increase the return on the existing ground capacity to 48.000. That's bigger than Man.City and Chelsea. I didn't say it would be popular but it has the merit of having an immediate effect and costs the club nothing.
I sympathise with the poor, I've be one of you myself for years, who are priced out of the market but hey what's new in today's world?
'It's the rich what gets the gravy: it's the poor what gets the blame'.( Music Hall song)
There are plenty of fans on the waiting list to replace them. So at a stroke we avoid the potential debt problems and the planning problems; we get an immediate decision and get a better class of fan at the same time. Prawn sandwhiches all round.
All I want is Champions' League now and again; attractive football; 'top' if not 'top top' players and a club that has a soul. Which is roughly where we are at the moment. Now I love architects' projections too and I feel sorry for those who might not get to watch the game because of restricted numbers and higher prices. They won't get to stroll across the 'piazza' and pop into Sainsburys for a chat with Jamie Oliver, but these are hard times.
Mrs JimmyG2 suggested doubling the prices and effectively having a ground capacity of 72,000. Once she’d finished explaining the off-side rule to me, I outlined the 'Law of Diminishing Returns' to her which says that a certain point on the graph the income starts to fall. So if you increased prices by tenfold, thereby giving you the same return as a 360,000 crowd then only about 25 Spurs fans and the members of the Coalition Cabinet could afford tickets.
Increasing prices by a third is 'viable'.and offers an increased capacity to 48,000 at a stroke which is not far short of what the NPD is offering and with no outlay. I'm surprised that Levy hasn't thought this already. Hostility to a plan by core supporters is what Levy clearly thrives on and I recommend this suggestion to the Board.
It makes us less of a sellable asset but that is no bad thing. Levy despite being a two faced, duplicitous, evasive bastard is as good a Chairman as we are likely to get. I don't actually believe that the WPD is not viable just that the Olympic Stadium is a better option financially. I'm not sure I buy into all this 'next level' stuff anyway and that unless we build a shiny new stadium we are doomed to mid table oblivion for ever. A trophy stadium does not automatically mean more trophies.
On the football front which I was hoping to avoid, things appear to have stalled. Chelsea, Arsenal and Man.Utd all won easily at the weekend and subsequently Man Utd. came from 2-0 down to win away at Blackpool. We are faltering, 2 points from nine, and not a new striker in sight. It could just be mid winter blues for me and Spurs but I am not too hopeful of us finishing in the top four this year.
Of course we could just sell Bale to Inter for £40 million, a story denied before it hit the streets, and Modric for the same to United, buy Parker and keep our fingers crossed until Tom returns. That's not so much a plan as an auto destruct button.
On the rumour front there is a link to Forlan who is a classy, Tottenham style player with a remarkable scoring record at Athletico for someone who isn't an out and out striker. (73 goals in 119 appearances) This is certainly an upgrade as far as rumours go and the asking price is only £9million which means that every team in the Premiership and La Liga will want him and some in the Championship too. Our local youth club might be in for him at that price. On the downside Harry has repeated that Crouch will not be sold.
Unless we increase our wage levels we may not attract the more mercenary of the floating foreign contingent and may have to rely on our achievements, our traditions, our history, our reputation and the fact that we are in the Champions' League and have some top class players already. It hasn't done us too badly so far and hope the new financial regime gives those without a rich benefactor a fairer chance in the future.
Did I mention Fulham in the cup on Sunday? We usually draw and then beat them in the replay so why break the habits of a lifetime.
1-1 on Sunday and 2-1 at the Lane.
You read it here first and I'm not always wrong.