Who rattled his cage?
'What's that tall dreamy thing down there?'
'Peter Crouch O Zeus. But he's a footballer'.
'Yes he'll do. I'm bored'
'But you said you'd finished with footballers after the success of the episode with Wayne and the Sky camera''
'Yes well, I gave golf a go with young Rory but he just shrugged off self destructing at the Masters. Not half as much fun as footballers.
I'm working on Italian football managers in England at the moment after my earlier success with Benitez.
I'm going for a treble with Ancelloti,Capello and Mancini.
I got good odds on all three to be sacked within three months.
Send Hermes down the betting shop for a saver on Balotelli to have a stand up fight with Mancini before the end of the season'.
But don't go too far with Crouchy O Mighty One, Aphrodite reports that he's getting married soon'.
'Well blame that Harry Redknapp. 2 points from 8 games. He's doing my head in'.
But even the Gods realised that they had gone too far at the Bernabeu. I mean, was their intervention really necessary? Couldn't they have just left it to home advantage and top class opposition? Zeus tired of winding up Ian Holloway, and driving Fernando Torres to despair had turned his attention to Peter Crouch visible even from the top of Mount Olympus.
So against Stoke they relented and let normal service resume. They turned their attention back to W.Ham for the weekend and left us to our own devices.They even compensated us for the torment of Crouch and allowed him to score two goals thus doubling his Premiership tally at a stroke, or two. That Zeus eh, soft hearted or what?
We took full advantage of this leniency and played some of the best football seen this year. Modric was buzzing; Pavlyuchenko assisted Crouch and Modric to goals, had a goal disallowed himself and ran about a bit to good effect. Huddlestone returned and set up Crouchy's second. Bale exploded once or twice and only Lennon was missing. Defoe looked on gloomily.
It was not all positive though. We were sloppy in allowing Stoke to get back at us, not once but twice. Stand up Bale Dawson and Huddlestone. Jones ran Dawson and Kaboul ragged and scored a scorcher. But generally it was the tonic we needed after Madrid and the calmness of Tom and the strength of Raging Kaboul were welcome returns.
So 4th is back on though we need to play better than we have of late. The run in looks fierce but paradoxically given Spurs attitude to 'easy' games this might work to our advantage. Players returning from injury and to form will help. We have been helped by other challengers doing not much better than us and our return over the last five matches of 6 points from15 should have been too few and seen us dead and buried by now as far as the Champions' League is concerned.
But even as I type Liverpool are beating Man.City in some style. Suarez and Caroll both look worth the money and City are ragged and dispirited. Or is that just me looking through my Spurs tinted spectacles? With Tevez injured and Da Silva being saved for the weekend they looked pedestrian. So everything to play for as they say and plenty of positives to take from the Stoke game into the coming week. But in the end it's all in the lap of the gods. Zeus can you hear me?
And what a week it is with Real Madrid and Arsenal both at home. Four goals down to Real we can go out and have a go because we don't have any other choice. We intended to play both Lennon and Bale in Madrid and I can't see Harry adopting any other strategy on Wednesday. Even with Arsenal to come in a crucial Premiership clash the fans will expect nothing less than an early and full bloodied assault on the visitors.
Sandro might start and Kaboul partner Dawson to enable Huddlestone and Gallas extra recovery time for the weekend. We find ourselves in a hopeless position but we will be judged on our style, attitude and approach rather than the result. Mourinho will not need to attack and I fully expect us to win the game but lose the tie. As long as Zeus is distracted by something else.
The Real Madrid game raised the spectre of the racist chants controversy again this time in connection with Adebeyor. If we had a striker of his quality we might be closer to qualifying for the Champions' League than we are. The argument that it is designed to put the player off his game looks a little silly as he scored twice even as he was being abused.
Harry's revelation that he tried to sign Rio Ferdinand as an experienced 'winner' is disturbing. He is too old now at nearly 33 and injury prone and we need to be signing the next generation of 'winners' not the last. Imagine our treatment room with Gallas, Woodgate, Ledley, and Ferdinand, Without doubt what would have been the finest collection of injured 'winners' in the country.
It's like the old Generals who are always fighting the last war rather than the next. It's the same story with Parker, a decent player having a good season but again he's the wrong side of 30. A blend of talent and experience is necessary of course. We have a wealth of players around the 26/27 mark, Modric. Dawson and Van der Vaart for a start. We will end up with too many chiefs planning the campaign and not enough Indians to do the work.
There is nothing magic about the age of 30. Me and Harry have been there twice and Zeus many many times.
''As flies to wanton boys are we to the Gods. They kill us for their sport''. (King Lear)