Patience is a virtue in short supply at my age.
It's been the driest spring for a hundred years: that's the weather not the Spurs strikers' record since February. Anyway it rained sufficiently last week to get the grass growing and I have now mowed the lawn and taken the overflow compost heap down to the allotment.
I have also been up to the re-cycling centre, very high on the list of local attractions, another job not possible during the season. There are ominously large tins of paint appearing in the garage following Mrs JimmyG2's visit to our local Focus store which is in receivership and having an 'Everything must go sale'. I will not draw the obvious parallels with the rumored 'Clearance of the dead wood'. Our very own annual non event.
So as you can tell there's not a lot happening. People are calling for an early marquee signing, here we go again, to settle the Modric and Bales of this world into the realisation that we mean business next season. But as we all know it's not our style.
Firstly, apparently, we have to turn over some cash in order to buy. Secondly all the world knows that we are desperate for strikers or even one striker, but that we won't pay over the odds and like a bargain. This is not a strong business negotiating position to secure world class players. Thirdly we are not in the Champions League this year.
Now we built a squad and got there without being in it thus disproving the 'Catch 22' conundrum that you need world class players to achieve CL status but without CL status you can't sign world class players. But keeping them is going to be another matter.
Comforting e-mails have been received by fans seeking a firm denial from the club of the Bale and Modric rumours but I don't believe for one moment that a bid over £30 million pounds would be rejected in the end for either of them. Cynical moi? Where sport and business meet there is a nasty interface usually resolved in the favour of business.Quatar to host the World Cup and the Bahrein Grand Prix spring to mind.
Anyway nothing is happening: Modric hasn't gone to Man.Utd; Harry hasn't gone to Chelsea; Defoe hasn't gone to Sunderland or Arsenal; Friedel* and Parker have not yet arrived at Spurs; Ruud Van Nistelroy has gone to Malaga and not just for a holiday, so cross that one off your list, and none of the young explosive S.American strikers that we have been linked with have set sail for these shores, as yet.
That's the trouble with blogging during the transfer window, you can easily get behind the news curve. But it's not our style to sign early except in the cases of Modric, Berbatov, and Bale which should be sending us some sort of message. Levy likes his days, weeks even, in the limelight and Harry has been lost in France muttering, 'If it's good enough for Arsene it's good enough for me'.
As yet he hasn't seen anything as good as Roman Pavlyuchenko, but for goodness sake, where's he been looking? The yoghurt aisle in 'Monoprix' is not noted for the quality of its strikers. French starlet, that's journo speak for a youngster that nobody's ever heard of, Gameiro is off to Spain; Rossi is on his way to Barcelona; Berbatov is staying to fight for his place at Utd so our list is getting shorter by the day.
At least if Harry does leave we won't be getting Allardyce or Hughes** as they are spoken for at W.Ham and Villa.
So as Hank Williams sang in the late 40's
'You open the door and the flies swarm in.
Shut the door and your sweatin' again.'
and yes I do remember it, just.
Pretty accurate picture of chez JimmyG2 during the current transfer window.
What about painting the shed Jimmy?
I cant' I'm very busy . When they say it's the 'close season' it doesn't mean nothing's happening'.
'Well what is happening then?
'Exactly. Here's a paint brush'
'Hold the Emulsion!. Gio's just scored two for Mexico
Anyway that's the shed painted in a sort of blue and white camouflage effect. Wait till she sees it. I'll just sit here and watch it dry until something more interesting happens.
'The sun goes up an the sun goes down
Hands on the clock keep goin' around.
An' I just get up and it's time to lay down
Life gets tedious don't it.'
Tell it like it is Hank baby.
* Update on Friedel. Apparently signed while I was giving the shed a second coat. I knew it would all kick off while my back was turned. Appropriately more a shed than a marquee signing.
But at least he's not an over the hill 30 yr old. On OPTA stats he is not clearly a better keeper than Gomes and not exactly sending a positive message to Luka. Manchester Utd are apparently willing to spend £15 million on the young and exciting De Gea and we sign a man at the end of his career on a free.
Friedel v Gomes
Clean Sheets 7-7,
Save % 64%-74%,
Catch success 96%-96%,
Clean Sheets 7-7,
Save % 64%-74%,
Catch success 96%-96%,
Courtesy of OPTA via visceraleyes from COYS.
Presumably just back up then. At his age more like back out I fear. An archetypal Harry signing, old, sorry, experienced, cheap if not free, no sell on value. Is Daniel having nightmares? With Parker to follow that's two players in positions we don't need to cover.
** Update on Hughes. Got his application and resignation letters mixed up and rather foolishly
resigned from Fulham before he'd got the job at Villa.
Is there a vacancy somewhere closer to home here that I've missed?
This start to the transfer window is verging on the depressing rather than the just tedious with Liverpool leading the pack for several young stars, Connor Wickham included. Yeah, I know it's early days but the signs are not auspicious.
As I sit on the veranda chewing a straw in my sun hat and string vest it seems that at Spurs it was ever thus.
'Patience' you say, 'it's only just begun', thanks Karen, but at my age patience is a luxury I haven't really got time for.