The Blog that's not always wrong.

Monday, 29 August 2011

'Abandon all hope'


 It's the Hope that kills you

Above the Gates of Hell in Dante's 'Divine Comedy' are inscribed the words 'Abandon all hope ye who enter here'. I'm paying to have it similarly placed above the Bill Nicholson gates to White Hart Lane as that is my prediction for the nature of the coming season.


Now as all football fans and especially Tottenham fans know 'It's the hope that kills you'. Well it looks as if we will enjoy a season free of the fear of imminent death. 'Hope springs eternal' as we are often told but the eternal doesn't seem to be lasting forever at Spurs.

I confidently predicted sixth pre- season: now I'm not so sure. We seem to be running up the down escalator whilst our main rivals take the 'Executive lift in the 'Priority' lane. The fact that Arsenal fared even worse than we did at Old Trafford does little to suggest that we will shortly be making any upward moves.

Now reasons are the excuses of the hopeful and there are plenty around. Our opening 'easy' game was abandoned due to looting and arson so our first two games appear to have been against the eventual first and second in the league. This at a time when we have serious non availability problems through injury or attitude from those that bother or can be persuaded to turn out.

There has been no sign of Ledley or Gallas; Modric clearly doesn't want to be with us; Huddlestone is not match fit ; Bale and Lennon still seem to be on holiday; Sandro will be another couple of months; after Man.City Lennon and Van will be out for at least a couple of weeks. Palacios is likely to go to Stoke before Wednesday.

The Modric saga has cast a toxic gloom over the club and even if he stays until Xmas the damage has been done and things will never be the same. None of our problems can be easily fixed at this late stage in the transfer window.

Of the starting eleven on Sunday only Ekotto and Van Der Vaart really bothered to turn up. Defoe and Livermore showed some enthusiasm when they appeared but Livermore is rumoured to be bait for Parker. A case of the cure I being worse than the disease.

Crouch talked up again by Harry was as bad as he has ever been and rumours of his going appear to have petered out. At the other end Dzeko scored four. Our new first choice keeper has now conceded 8 in our first two games. In the last three games a defender has scored the only goal.

An Anglo Saxon Chief was asked the difference between a wise man and a fool. He replied
' The width of this table' I suspect that Levy has this in mind in his meetings with Harry who has gone out of his way to contradict and undermine the Chairman's stance over Modric.

As in the famous ' Friends, Romans, Countrymen' speech by Mark Anthony at the funeral of Caesar murdered by Brutus every repetition of the phrase but 'Brutus is an honorable man' underlines the duplicity of the murderer.

Harry at the end of his press interviews always refers to the fact that the Chairman has decided otherwise about Modric leaving me with the distinct impression that Harry has already spent the money. 'But the Chairman is an honorable man'.

Now I admit to be being a 'miserable sod' from time to time, that's how you get supporting Spurs for so long, but don't shoot the messenger guys. It's not me that has left it until the last 48 hrs to make significant alterations to the squad, apart from Adebayor on loan.

It is likely that in the final 24 hrs we will buy a job lot of cheap and cheerful players approaching their 'sell by' date. Parker, Cole and Bellamy come to mind..They can, like Friedel, Gallas and Adebeyor on loan all do a job, the phrase 'du jour', but it all smacks of stop gap.

Hold the fort until the cavalry arrives, perhaps next season. But who will come to a mid-table outfit with fast vanishing memories of last season's Champions' League who don't pay top whack? Diarra and Damiao are giving us the cold shoulder even now.

'In reality, hope is the worst of all evils, because it prolongs man's torments'. You have been warned. Two games down, 36 to go and no worse off in points gained from the same matches last year. But there is a smell of decay around the club.

I have no inside knowledge of whether it's a breakdown in relations between Harry and Levy; a breakdown in relations between Harry and the players or dark rumours of financial problems. Something is rotten in the State of Tottenham.












Wednesday, 24 August 2011

We know our place



Man. Utd: Tottenham:  Hearts

We look down on them but  we look up to them

So now we are down in the relegation places and bottom of the league purely on merit. The team we played last night is top and the team we play on Sunday are second: so the heat is on. Two games played and some light shed on the shape of our season. Although with the transfer window staying open a week into the season for some reason known only to administrative nerds it's probably too early for any accurate assessments.

But we seem to have some guidelines. We are much better than the third best team in Scotland. (stand by for this to be confirmed on Thursday night.) But not nearly as good as the best team in England. Quite a space between them I admit and we will just have to find our level in there somewhere. But at least we know our place, more or less.

We certainly missed the ball retaining skills of Modric in Manchester. But all this 'his head is not right' stuff is bollocks, if you will excuse the expression.. The whole situation is positively 'Berbatovian' and we all remember how that ended. If he is fit he should have played on Monday. If he can't cope with the situation he should be sold immediately and the money re-invested before it's too late. Even at this late stage there must be some bargains left in the shops.

And I'm not talking about Adebayor who I wouldn't touch with a bargepole.( We interrupt this broadcast to report that a deal has been struck for the loan of Mr. Adebayor late of the City of Manchester. So we will see) He is in the same category to me as Bellamy or Joey Barton. Decent footballers who bring so much baggage that the extra luggage charges are more then the cost of the flight.

Even the modest hardworking ones can cause you terminal headaches as little Luka has shown These players perform for themselves and only incidentally for the team and Adebayor will have little regard for our tradition and history. If he scores 15 or more goals this season I will publicly recant and welcome him as a sinner repented.

The euphoria after Hearts has rapidly dissolved. 'Hot Spurs break Hearts in five star Europa qualifier performance.' was my headline for the match review, which incidentally easily triumphed in the 'Worst headline' in a Spurs Blog weekly Award. Actually I entered it for the 'Snappy Title' category but the Committee felt otherwise.

But titles apart that was how I like my Tottenham: ball to feet; one touch ensemble play orchestrated by Van Der Vaart who took upon himself the role of conductor in the absence of whatsisname.
As good a 45 minutes as I have seen by our boys in a long time.

All this without King, Gallas, Palacios, Sandro, and Corluka; all stalwarts of yester year. True we had a ten minute nightmare when they came out fired up after half time and forced three corners in quick succession. But that was about it. Barring miracles qualification is a cinch.

Van Der Vaart showing for the ball and with Defoe pressing high up the pitch, coaxed excellent performances from Kranjcar, Livermore, Defoe and Lennon. Kranjcar was a revelation in centre midfield. None of the three youngsters, Townsend, Walker and Livermore, who were 'Europa' bloodied looked out of place.

Defoe looked confident again, took his goal well after excellent work from Van Der Vaart and Lennon. Then he showed down the left hand channel and was brilliantly sent away by Townsend and set up Lennon for a tap-in. Tom Huddlestone chipped a classic trade mark ball over the top for Gareth Bale to round the keeper and score another.

Now Modric may 'no like chicken badge' (Thanks Harry Hotspur) but I like it when Spurs strut and preen just a little. What was supposed to be an intimidating venue and a tricky first leg was all but over before the half hour mark with Spurs 3-0 up. Still I accept it was only Hearts, but if we can put away the 'poorer' teams like that we will do better than last season.

But that was last Thursday and this is Wednesday of the following week.. We contained Man.Utd for an hour but did little more. After the first goal what had seemed very likely became inevitable and they ran out easy winners. In fact Friedel made several key saves and it could have been worse.

Gomes reward for keeping a clean sheet at Hearts was to sit on the bench and Friedel is clearly Harry's Premiership choice. Hardly the future, is it. Apart from an effort by Defoe which struck the post we found De Gea every time or blasted the ball high and wide. Either the boy's positional sense is uncanny or we need to aim for the corners more.

The team work of the Hearts game went missing as did our centre halves in the last half hour. Wrong choices and mistakes were the hallmark of our play and Van Der Vaart's reaction to Lennon's failure top cut the ball back to him 10yds out was indicative that he is used to playing at a higher level. What was Aaron thinking?

Rooney, Nani and the boy Cleverly found the gap between the lines and Kranjcar and Livermore didn't have the space and time of the previous game, though both played well especially in the first hour.

Selling Modric and Bale is perhaps our only way of generating income. Harry thinks he can buy four decent players with that but as Greg will tell you they will be 'old' bangers rather than limousines. Sell on and rebuild is our only way forward in the present financial circumstances and it might be a good time for Luka to put his head on somebody else's block.

So Old Trafford yielded its usual result but we will always have Edinburgh. It might have to be enough for now. By Sunday night we might know better.

Breaking News.
The NDP is on again as Spurs drop their legal challenges to W.Ham taking on the OS.
A deal has beent struck with Boris.Get it in writing Daniel as our mentor Sam Goldwyn opines that
'A verbal contract is not worth the paper it's printed on'

 Stand by for Dan the Man to claim that the OS escapade was a diversionary tactic and that he personally started the riots to get the politicians' attention.

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Dear Mr.Modric. Greg Meyer's column

With apologies to Spooky at 'Dear Mr. Levy. Don't sue us again: we haven't got any money. Greg's spent all his on season tickets, replica shirts with 'Modric' on them and commuting from Tasmania for home games. Should Luka reply we will certainly publish it, but don't hold your breaths.
 
Manchester Monday 22 August 2011.
 
A Letter To Luka.
 
Dear Luka,
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                      although some of the undersigned  were pushing for a less courteous opening . I am sure their feelings are crystal clear as you read on. Should you have any difficulties with comprehension may we suggest Google translate ( the Croation version).
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                     At an Extraordinary Meeting of the Luka Modric Appreciation Society of Kent this week it was not so much the meeting that was extraordinary but the depth of emerging disenchantment which culminated in the following seven point motion.
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             Moved Mine Host  Seconded Our Pub Lawyer.
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That Luka Modric , still of North London, be called upon to explain,agree, confirm and otherwise extemporise on the following:
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1. A contract signed on 30 May 2010 whereby the player agreed to a further 6 years with the said THFC should be honoured and not treated as a gentlemanly throw-away.
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 By way of addendum the meeting could understand a player such as Mr. S. Nasri now in his final year perhaps feeling justified in pursuing pastures new. Mr. Nasri is not in year one of a six year contract.
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 2 .A club endorsed as going places when the player signed should not be selling its best player to a Champions League and Premiership rival.
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 By addendum Mr. Modric on signing stated ... 'Tottenham Hotspur gave me my chance in the Premier League and I want to go on to achieve great success here with them .... etc ".
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 Manchester United sold their talisman Ronaldo to Real Madrid. Arsenal have let Fabregas go to Barcelona. The English Premier should be persona non grata for Modric.
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 3. A club asset worth 16.5 million pounds on signing on 26 April 2008 is now touted at 30 million pounds market value. There will not be a downward spiral should THFC honour the contract and refuse a sale this window. Mr. Modric will still be worth far in excess of the original price should a sale be necessary in the next twelve months.
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 4. There should not be a sale of the said prized asset in the last nine days of the window. However much profit can be made the impossibility of filling the said players little boots at such a belated stage is a stark reality.
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 Addendum to the Chairman. Mr. Levy in this case and not he of our Appreciation Society. No Berbatov saga. No forced last day sale. Thereby the said Chairman retains his reputation .
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 5. A unanimous motion whereby one Henry James Redknapp of 'Well To Do Row', Sandbanks, be called upon to immediately and until the clock strikes midnight on 31 August 2011 completely and utterly, " Shut it! " regards the said Mr. Modric. A simple no comment till the clock strikes would suffice admirably.
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 6. The meeting commends with alacrity the very well timed trip overseas by the previously mentioned Mr. Levy.Surely a well planned itinerary would not have him anywhere near a fax, phone, or any other communication device which does not self destruct within seven seconds should the code word Modric be mentioned. A timely homecoming to North London would be Thursday 1 September 2011.
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 7. A vote of thanks was extended to Messrs, Bale, Van der Vart, Lennon,Kranjcar, to name but a few of the lads for their honourable conduct through what has obviously been  a difficult window for them. Thank you for your loyalty to the chicken badge.
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                     Yours from two accountants, three lawyers, a road haulier, a journalist, a long distance skier, a banker,2 train drivers, a cab specialist,3 landscapers, a retired flower grower , a retired footballer and the rest of our decidedly upset but still merry throng here at a Kent Pub.
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 Cheers .... keep you posted on the expected response ... Greg Meyer.                    coys.
 
 
 

Friday, 19 August 2011

Greg Meyer's used car guide. Modric still in the showroom.


Top Gear comes to Spurs Musings, and I don't just mean the team's performance North of the Border. An Australian Arthur Daley, just what we need to go with our 'wheeler dealer' manager. Meanwhile great news for the Meyer family: son Lachlan is now the All Australian under 17 Badminton Champion. Greg is over the moon, but too modest to mention it  himself. Pity the boy chose to shine in a sport which benefits Spurs not a jot.
 
Friday  19 August  2011.
Season Preview  ...  Test Drive The 2011-12 Model ... A Comparison With Other Brands.
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 Ten days after the rest of the fleet Spurs finally set sail and kick off at Old Trafford. Our pub "don't like mondays" and it will take a miracle in Manchester to change that outlook.
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 Ahead of monday we thought we might take the new model for a quick spin. Perhaps the description new is a misnomer. Perhaps we might finally buy a new player , under 40 and one allowed outside the penalty box. Twelve long days to go until it slams shut.
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 Indeed this years model looks a little more settled from the rear. If our Brazilian standup comic has a good year then it may be due to the looming presence of a still spritely and dependable 40 year old American.
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 Occupying the back seats this year it looks useful. Reliability will be improved with the sad departure of Jonathon Woodgate.Mind he'll probably clock up  a full quota with Stoke. Just our luck. Still the coming of Walker with pace, the ever present cultured enigma that is Benny,and with our favourite Croatian Vedran providing road holding but no pace, then it looks good. No prizes for guessing why Vedran is our favourite. Certainly a loyal servant unwilling to rock the car.
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 In the middle in the back as usual the question is will our Rolls Royce feature. If Ledley spends more time on the track than in the pool then the lack of a summer back up buy may go unnoticed.Both Dawson and Kaboul are out of warranty but despite lacking upmarket add ons, sometimes pace and sometimes concentration, both should mantain market price. Gallas is spending more time in the garage but has the professionalism and just plain desire to give us perhaps a last year. Bassong only gets driven on the occassional Sunday and then its usually a nervous outing.
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 Moving up to the drivers seat if we keep a certain compact Croatian then creativity when all else fails is likely to be present. It's easy to see why you know who desperately need him. Spurs engine room is second to none. A Dutch master, the Welsh wizard, the very fast little English sports car, the very less speedy Croatian Kranjkar, all able to steer round and through obdurate defensive obstacles most of the time. Livermore may even be allowed out of the showroom if his Hearts display counts for anything.
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 Talk of a Spanish model arriving keeps on keeping on. Diarra is no Modric and we already have a Diarra. Sandro when fit is an emerging star.He knows Modric well, as well.
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 Under the bonnet it is looking decidedly down in horsepower. The Irish bloke, well past his use by date , has left for the home of the motor car. Our driving instructor, a man of iron nerve, shudders at where sufficient goals are going to come from. Mine host will shout the bar should something like Adebayour arrive. Both happenings at long odds here. The arrival probably marginally ahead of the shouting.
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 Those staying in the garage this year include Dos Santos, Hutton,Bentley( right at home), and the Palatial one. Yes they might be used for short European trips as with some others. Huddlestone, Rose and Crouch might even manage some useful miles as well.
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 Look Daniel Levy has eternal hero status if two things happen. Modric stays in the Spurs showroom and that "fantastic striker signing" arrives within the next twelve days and not months.
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 So a quick trip around the car yards London and Manchester might give a little better balance.
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 Down Abu Dhabi Lane.
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 Hundreds of millions of pounds usually means a top shelf model is likely. Indeed our lawyer is not alone in thinking Aguero will be the player of the year. A model too far and too rich for Spurs unfortunately.
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 Perhaps our best hope is the Citeh machine may experience mechanical difficulties owing to clashing egos and misfiring jealousies over huge salaries for some and not quite so big for others. A prima donna effect if you will. Not much to go on says our accountant.
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A Nearby Manchester Car Yard.
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 A top of the range model, a proven performer and one that's had significant refurbishment. Both front and back. A podium finish for certain .Probably the middle one.
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.North London Motors ... Home Of Fine French and Spanish Automobiles.
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 Or at least it was. The new season Arsenal has engine room problems. Captain Cesc and Sammi Nasri leave gaping holes. Surely our local hero sees the consequences when you lose your midfield mojo, modric anyone. Hang in there Daniel.
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 Steering problems aside, doubts about their lack of horsepower up front abound. The jury is out on many fronts regards Gervinho says our lawyer.With Bendtner gone then the reliability of their Dutch talisman becomes fundamental. Problems galore and speaking completely objectively, long may they remain.
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Home Of Misplaced Hubcaps.
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Liverpool have improved. Spent local. Safe but without being unpatriotic our banker says more continental flavour would help. In Andy Carroll they have plenty of potential power. Our Pub think and fervently hope they fall short. Speaking of which ....
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Conversations At A Kent Pub.
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The demolition of Hearts was a feelgood pre season warmup. Ahead a potential car crash at Old Trafford needs some astute navigation by Harry and our merry men.
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Our car salesman ( not kidding, all sorts drink here) is optimistic. You need that and more in his game. No Vidic, no Ferdinand and no Fletcher. Surely our strikers must be motivated by that.
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If our back seat drivers ( is Ledley back?) can contain the likes of Nani, Young, Rooney and co then we may yet exact revenge for "The Gaol That Never Was."
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Top gear may not be enough. Some welcome luck would help as well.
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Cheers .... surely Clutterbuck is not reffing ...  Greg Meyer.            coys.         PS  Its Lee Probert. Small mercies perhaps.

Sunday, 14 August 2011

Fings ain't what they used to be.


Check the contents


I have to report that Trading Standards have been round to examine the current article to assess the football content. Football blogs are no different to sausages apparently. There has to be a certain level of football and, or meat content. Fellow Bloggers you have been warned.

Any more of this looting, arson , vandalism and socio economic special pleading malarkey will have to stop especially now that the season has started. Well apart from ours. However just because it all started in Tottenham does not give us an extra week's leeway to digress.

What's all this all got to do with football? they ask, apart from the irony that it all kicked off in Tottenham and prevented us kick ing off our season. Which leaves us silly bloggers with the time and leisure to muse about other things.

You might as well ask,  'Whats the point of football in the first place'.   I haven't thought much about Global Warming this week, well I don't during the season anyway, as a rule, which proves that football, the history of patchwork quilts, or whatever, are doing their jobs: taking our minds off more important and depressing subjects.

Those who think that looting and rioting are like tsunami's or earthquakes, unforeseeable acts of nature are living in a cosy world of denial. Everything has a cause and a reason and unless you understand them you are doomed to repeat them. No, don't worry, carry on reading, the man with the clipboard's gone to the butcher's next door.

Rio tweets 'Stop the rioting' thinking that his football status gives him some influence over the youth of today. Take a look in the players car-parks of Premiership Football clubs. There's your influence Rio, there's your example. Read my lips, 'That's a Maserati you scumbags'.  Spur's players on £60.000 a week could buy a house in Tottenham every week.

Harry's input from millionaires row down in Sandbach was that standards are declining and it wasn't like this in the old days. This from a man on several million a year up on tax evasion charges. If he is eventually banged up he can perhaps give his memorial lecture on Morality, in person to the looters and rioters of N. London.

You are part of the problem Harry. Today's lecture on morality is given from Cell 227 by a well known personality who brings his own unique take on the evils of society. His analysis in the Sun read more like a Private Eye spoof complete with sentimental references to 'opening doors for ladies' and community solidarity that sounded like IRA punishment gangs. We know Harry, we know, we saw it all in 'Till death us do part'. At least he spared us the bit about not locking your front doors.

I am from the same generation as Harry and lived in North and East London growing up. We had double locks and three bolts on all our doors. The mini-cab driver that took my parents to the airport for a package holiday in Alicante in the late 60's was later convicted of smashing their front door off its hinges and rifling their flat. Happy days. The people next door heard 'something' but just turned the tele up. And that was 40yrs ago. Dream on Harry.

The present Cabinet is comprised of 27 people 17 of whom are millionaires. They scurried back, eventually, from their holidays and claimed to have rescued to situation. A pity they left it for so long. The architect of the cuts, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, Mr George Osborne came back from his £1000 a night hotel in California to insist that austerity would continue. Not in his house obviously

None of this excuses vandalism, looting, murder, mayhem and violence but it does give it some context and background. To understand is not to excuse. And tough talk by the Prime Minister may yet split the coalition.

The reactions will be vindictive and counter productive. The whole thing is a 'knee-jerk mess. You might as well put Joey Barton in charge. No doubt the current crop of looters and vandals will get short shrift but that is not a solution for the long term. First you need to acknowledge that there is a problem and then set about solving it. If parts of society are sick we need to know the causes of the illness and its possible cures.

Tottenham website contributors often refer to the Tottenham area as 'a sewer' beyond repair and salvation. This was perhaps one reason why so many wanted to decamp down the road to Stratford and escape the clutches of Haringey council and David Lammy

That may solve THFC's problems but is not along term solution to the general problems of society. We are a divided country with eye-watering differences in levels of affluence. Footballers and the Premiership are in the forefront of this.

This country has already been looted by the bankers, by the MP's over their expense; by journalists in the phone hacking scandal; by the corruption within the police and more depressing revelations will be released over the next couple of years. Why expect those that have least, to contribute the most and to be better behaved than their leaders?

Look out! The Inspector's back. On the football front so far this weekend I saw very little to frighten. us at Liverpool, Chelsea or Arsenal, except Joey Barton course. Manchester Utd are a different matter. They were challenged at W.Brom but still managed to win it in the last ten minutes. I can't see past them for the title but second is still available.

Today we are out of the relegation zone on goal difference and only 3 points off the top with a game in hand. Its doesn't get much better than this. Next time 100% protein, wall to wall football, a full report on our our exciting transfer news and an account of our opening game in the Europa, a qualifier against Hearts. Enough there for the most zealous Inspector.

Fings ain't what they used to be Harry, but to be fair, they never were.

Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Bilbao win sparks riots


More ground clearance for redevelopment in Tottenham


Plenty of exciting news on the Tottenham front this week. Unfortunately none of it about the football or the football club. On the up side that means that Luka is still with us: on the down side that we haven't signed a new striker or sold any of the many not entirely indispensable.

Now be honest, when you saw the headline 'Tottenham riots' you immediately assumed that Luka had been sold especially after the reception he received on Saturday. Like me you were relieved to see that it was just parts of London going up in flames and that once again it was a first for Tottenham

Blinkered? I think not; this is a football blog after all. If you want socio-politico-economic analysis buy The Guardian or watch Newsnight. Football repercussions from the turmoil don't affect us yet though London fixtures at W.Ham and Charlton and the friendly International, 3 days before the start of the season have been canceled. TKO to the mob.

It remains to be seen whether the Everton game on Saturday will survive or be switched to Goodison. Interesting fact (from the Guardian, natch) no team in the past 15yrs since Man.Utd, in 1995/6 has lost its first fixture in the Premiership and gone on to win the league.

I'm not certain whether I am concerned about this statistic just at the moment. However it gives an extra edge to the Everton game though. Lose it and we might just as well pack our bags and take an extended break.

If I had any money I would put it on Man.Utd for the title after their comeback in the Community Shield on Saturday. Some performance, with Nani outstanding, three youngsters put on despite being 2-0 down at half-time and Rooney prowling like a rioter approaching JD sports.. Man.City got lucky with their goals and looked disorganised.

On another day at least two of their players would have been sent off. If Dawson had fouled up like Kompany in extra time; or Gomes let in Dzeko's shot from 30 yards then the hanging debate would have taken an alarming turn. But then like all fans we take our errors much more seriously than perhaps we should.

But enough of this idle chatter. Tottenham played and beat a good looking Bilbao side on Saturday evening and I could see nothing in our second half performance to cause the mayhem that followed in the evening. At half time perhaps because Bilbao gave us the runaround and we looked on enviously as Llorente, one of our 'targets', though not quite as tall as Crouch, showed power and a deft touch. Cliche alert. Good touch for a big man.,

In the end it was not so much a game of two halves as one of two squads. The arrival of Bale, Walker,and Kaboul gave us a lot more speed and power. We pressed higher up the pitch and within ten minutes Crouch and Defoe both scored well taken goals. With Harry's. Instructions to 'get in their faces' ringing in their ears they faced down a slick Bilbao side that had us chasing shadows in the first half.  With no defensive midfielders on show we had attack as our only option

Kranjcar could have had two goals apart from the penalty which he missed and Lennon demonstrated his willingness to stretch his legs from the start. Both goals were from goal line pull backs by the wingers and Bilbao 1-0 up probably thought they had done enough.

At Brighton we had found the template from last year, coming from behind to win, and duly did so again. Huddlestone failed to catch fire and Jenas spluttered into life early on and then
went out like a burning building with the arrival of the Fire Brigade. Modric on early for Piennar who is now out for six weeks after a groin operation, gradually settled into his vital role in midfield.

So a decent pre-season though an unambitious one. We have several injuries especially to midfielders (Van Der Vaart,Piennar, Palacios, Sandro) and Gallas and Ledley have yet to appear. Palacios is reportedly off to Stoke which seems premature in the absence of Sandro and the failure to sign Diarra from Real Madrid. Another ITK 'done deal' that seems to have come undone at the time of writing.

I hope that Teresa, George and David remembered to tick the insurance box on the Easyjet booking form rather than adopt the  'William's in charge, what can possibly go wrong?'  approach as I might have done. Next year it might be cheaper for the members of the government to take half a dozen 'hoodies' away with them than to leave them kicking their heels in the asphalt jungle that is WHL.

I expect the rioting to die down until the shops re-stock and whether the sight of burnt out buildings so close to the Olympic sites will benefit us remains to be seen. The Club's letter pledging support for the local area was timely and politically apt even if we are still trying to move down the road to Stratford. Perhaps they will have forgotten that in the excitement.

Do I condone the violence and looting.? No of course not but everything has a cause and a reason.
The vandals are not 'mindless' but just because they don't all fully understand why they are doing it does not mean that there are no underlying grievances to address.

Some are opportunistic theives; some feel they have no stake in society and so 'what the hell'; some have resentment against the police or the school or the social services, but if we are all in this together why are some more in it than others?

Their destruction of their own neighborhoods is misconceived and wrong As my Mum used to say, 'Never shit on your own doorstep'. Don't mistake my flippant tone for lack of concern. Hopefully all about the football next time.

Friday, 5 August 2011

Problems at the Lane? The Greg Meyer solution

Wogan’s Birthday Wednesday 3 August 2011.
Spurs Striker Problem … A Real Solution.

The window opened 34 days ago leaving 28 days left. The name on most lips most often and least wanted there has of course been a certain Croatian midfielder. The name most want is one of those “three fantastic signings” referred to by the manager. A striker of goals galore , at least one of. Nothing nearly yet.
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So what’s gone wrong thus far.  Surely with such an astute negotiator as our Chairman , ably backed up by a well recognised wheeler dealer then the blame lies elsewhere. Our pub has looked at this problem from both the top and bottom of the glass. Buggar half full. The answer quite obviously lies in the approach by our current advertising campaign. Sack the current mob.
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We suggest a placement with a leading advertising agency might assist. A fortunate coincidence, some might say a convenient truth, emerges with one such eminently reputable firm just happening to have a branch office convenient to our pub.
Mess’rs Doublespeak, Hacker, Spin & Bowler come highly credentialed and will tackle the problem head on.
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There are obvious problems with the current Transfer Brochure mail out . Certainly didn’t impress Mr. Vucinic nor Mr Rossi. Probably needed a version in English for both as a starter. More on the brochure in a minute. 
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Firstly we did seem to start the window on the back foot courtesy of the little midfielders concerns. To revisit concerns ranging from poultry on the shirt to Croatian tv viewing habits please refresh here I Have A Copy Of Luka Modric’s Transfer Request | Harry Hotspur (Cntrl + Click). Thanks Harry H.
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Letters going out To Senor Fernando Llorente, perhaps again to Mr Rossi and others of the goalscoring fraternity have enclosed our new brochure which directly attempts to assuage some concerns touted publicly by your tabloidal media.
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The infamous “ No like chicken on badge” is directly addressed. That’s no chook but in true Spurs tradition a proud assertive fighting cockerel feared far and wide in the fighting rings of France and beyond.
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Wages and lack of have been mentioned. Surely not the be all and end all. Think of the fringe benefits available at Spurs. Access to hire of the club DVD recorder at a nominal price is but one feature. Whilst particularly popular on Thursday evenings there are lots to go round. That solves the Eastenders problem. What better way to relax than a replay of the English cultural icon after a hectic 90 minutes at the Lane.
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Another Spurs special is your very own gilt edged fountain pen, all yours on signing. Really useful for signing tricky agreements. Any gentleman would be proud to own such a pen.
Unlimited access to the Chairman’s private pool goes without saying. Long term occupant Mr. L. King is available in case you cannot swim.
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Triffic you say. And well you might. But what does it mean. No doubt you have heard of our world famous Learn to Speak English classes. Top of the class last year was young Roman Pavlyuchenko.
Roman looks like staying for another year of classes. His tall circus man striking mate is touted to be off to QPR or whoever. See no problems there then.
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So there you have it. No problems at all. Oh the little stadium. Never fear the new brochure shows you a rather marvellous new White hart lane on the horizon.
Golightly and Co have rehashed the original brochure shown below with particular attention to reworking the cover page.
The original brochure was a welcome to North London and perhaps not entirely appealing even if in some parts its accurate..
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Messrs Spin and Bowler think the new cover far more enticing.

The new brochure cover of course neatly attends to any concerns about that” little stadium”. News on that front from Vital Spurs and others suggests work has already started. Have a look this Saturday as you swing into Paxton Road. Demolition and construction proceeding apace.
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So armed with a flashy new brochure in languages various, addressing concerns generally, surely we will see action on the striker front. Perhaps the little matter of wages may still be a sticking point. Our Agency would welcome any solutions.  Not sure any were forthcoming or overheard regards …
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Conversations At A Kent Pub.
Most talk this week was fingers crossed about a certain Croatian as we creep closer to the window slamming shut. No new strikers. Twenty eightdays to go.
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Positive news that Kyle Walker is keen. His pace and Vedran’s positional cunning mean we may hav the right back spot covered. Unfortunately never really a problem. Its much further up the pitch where we hope there is movement at the station.
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Cheers … our pub reckon if we keep you know who it won’t be a total disaster … Greg Meyer. coys