The Blog that's not always wrong.

Monday, 23 April 2012

Training ground fights denied: if only they were true.

I think you're out of time Harry
Perhaps we could put a bit more sand in Mr. Levy

The JimmyG2  Column

Dear Tottenham,

Many thanks for your recent performances. They will certainly assist my new resolution to cut down on alcohol intake as I find I consume less when I drink miserably all on my own at home. This is the only sure-fire method to avoid the hysterical chattering of Arsenal fans and the genuine delight of my sole Newcastle acquaintance at my local.

Drinking lately in lonely commiseration with the Man. City contingent recently emerged from the woodwork is not my idea of an evening well spent. Nor is enduring the smug 'we told you not to get carried away' looks by the Man.Utd supporters who have been spoiling my Pub visits for some years.

  For the moment Everton seem to have wiped the smile from their faces for and given renewed hope to the pale blue side of Manchester. Excuse me while I hide in the toilets as there's a fool in a Tevez shirt heading this way. You can never find a Liverpool fan to cheer yourself up with when you need one. But even they will probably use their 'Win the Cup and get out of jail free' card once again.

Even Hanson was almost fooled by our style and new found grit. This seems to have been spread all over N17 in an attempt to prevent a car crash. Is that the sound of Ambulances rushing to the scene?. You almost had me fooled for quite a while there. But many years ago I decided to adopt a 'coitus interruptus' approach to our relationship and rarely allow myself to be completely carried away for fear of the consequences.

I await with interest your submission of a fresh set of rebuilding plans for the team and management staff. By the time the first sod is turned on the new stadium we may be back on the Champions' league trail Unfortunately one or two other sods will have turned their backs on Spurs by then.

Not that I blame them. I'm thinking of suing you for false representation myself. The new Trade Descriptions Act must have something relevant. Are 'Posing as a Champions ' League contender' or
' Impersonating a proper football team' criminal offences? Or perhaps a 'loitering without any intent whatsoever' charge will do the trick.

But I am determined to be positive and I am sad rather than angry. I'm sure Harry, Luka, Gareth and all did not throw everything away on purpose. But to mislay one place in the Premiership rankings may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose two looks like carelessness; to relinquish three smacks of criminal negligence.

Thanks also for not delaying our collapse until the last minute. An early blip-fest saves a lot of heartache and pain. As a senior member I should know better but the 'this time it's different' feeling is very hard to resist. Going out in the semi final of the Cup is a lot less harrowing then losing the final to a dire Liverpool team as I'm sure you appreciate.

It hasn't stopped raining since the hosepipe ban was announced and we haven't strung three passes together since our manager and team was crowned by popular acclamation as the People's Champions. I must have blinked when we had that chance of winning the league.

It reminds me of the story of the centipede who was congratulated on being able to walk so well considering how many legs it had. It promptly tripped over and never walked again. I expected Harry to close the door quietly behind him as he left, not to bolt and lock it and turn all the lights off first.

The current rumours of fights on the training ground are just gossip and if true must obviously be demonstrations of desire and commitment. Or perhaps they are a prelude to showing a bit of fight on the actual field of play. If so the accounts are clearly exaggerated and unfortunately too late to influence our season.

A Cup Semi Final and fifth, or sixth in the league and the Europa Cup on Thursdays is beyond the wildest dreams of scores of clubs and we should count our lucky stars and be eternally grateful to Harry for what we have achieved, I'm told.

Anyway 'dear Tottenham' no hard feelings. I am always here for you when you want me, I just wish that it was true the other way round.

Yours (al)most sincerely


Video spot.
'Out of time' A Rolling Stones song that Chris Farlowe covered in 1966, the year we won the World Cup.
By common consent a rare cover version that was better than the original. 'Top of the Pops', The Sixties, it all seems such a long time ago but England's and Tottenham's time will come again. Trust me.


Anonymous said...

I believe it was that Man city game that done it. We was robbed and from there knew the battle for 1st was too difficult and gave up!

Harmer the Charmer said...

As a matter of fact JimmyG2,I believe I am correct in saying it was the number one song on the very day England actually won the World Cup Final. I only offered that piece of quite useless information because I can't be bothhered to write anything about the dire state of what is going on out on the pitch. Out of Time we most certainly are.

Anonymous said...

It's not better than The Stones' original version. I think a more apt song may have been "You can't always get what you want". We have f€#$ed up this season big time!

JimmyG2 said...

Harmer the Charmer.
You are absolutely right sir.
'Useless information'?
That's essential social history.

Anon 23:33

I'm a big Stones fan but though they wrote the song it is a rather tame performance and Chris Farlowe's version has more energy and style.

Old Bob said...

The brain of Britain old Motor mouth,is telling the world its not his fault,we dont have a big enough squad guv, we have a lot of injurys,not my fault.
Look what i have found,Corluka,Peinar,Naughton,
Bassong,Caulker,all sent out on loan by Redcrap,nothing to do with me guv he bleats.
Thats two full backs,two central defenders,and a midfielder.
All of these players are doing a decent job at
their loan clubs.
The idiot abandoned the reserve team,and in his infinate wisdom,decided to loan out instead,without a thought entering his tiny brain, we may at some time need decent players
to refresh the first team.The sooner we get a decent manager to replace this idiot the better.

IKnowAlanGilzean said...

April is the cruellest month.

Anonymous said...

He's quoted as saying
"Corluka wanted to go, so I let him go"
"Peinaar wanted to go, so I let him go"

If Harry had actually given them some game time this season they may not have wanted to leave and might have stayed. It's not exactly rocket science is it?

His philosophy seems to be "look after the first 11 and the reserves can take care of themselves."

IKnowAlanGilzean said...

He doesn't believe in rotation, or rather he thinks it means changing half the side one or two games every 2 months or so. He's wrong for a club with our ambition in this day and age.

Anonymous said...

Hey You get outta my place
Hey You get outta my face

Please please please just go Harry, if you have lost the dressing room just walk away

JimmyG2 said...

Anon 16::45
So walk away
And close the door
And let my life be as it was before
But there's nothing left to say
Just walk away.

Celine Dion

I've cut out the bit about not knowing how I let you go.
We all know how we did that.

Anonymous said...


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