The Blog that's not always wrong.

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

The leaving of Luka: the Keeping of Bale.

First glimpse of our new striker.
A fully automated onion bagger

Here we go, here we go. Greg's first up with his preview and predictions for the coming season which begins at 4.30 pm on Saturday at Newcastle in case you thought we had simply ages to get our team sorted and organised. It will be alright on the night folks. Probably.

 The Greg Meyer Column
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 Tuesday 14 August 2012 ...  An Anniversary for the World's Greatest Batsman.
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 The Leaving Of Luka ... The Keeping Of Bale ...The Arrival Of ...
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 Leaving ...
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We started the transfer window in a blaze of glory glory.How Tottenham like and yet how unlike Spurs. Quality from Holland , Germany and Wales. Since then it's situation normal. The Modric saga drags on and the hunt for an onion bagger continues.
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Modric is no help in that department. Neither a goal scorer nor a final providor. Certainly a creative talent when his head is in the same place as the rest of him. Doubtlessly Spain might allow for coincidence between head and body.
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As we move from beermat to keyboard here at our pub Luka is still in the isolation ward at N17,his bags packed, tickets booked, new school for little Luka scouted, and Spanish language classes organised. Surely he's off. After all Niko and Vedran are long gone.
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Keeping ...
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If Luka Modric is worth ... insert here latest fantasy figure as compiled by usual tabloidal luminaries, Daily Mail anyone ... then Gareth Bale is priceless. Like us I imagine many of you thought his retention some of the best  summer news from the Lane. It came early too. One of those quality signings we mentioned earlier. 
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Our pubs Luka Modric Appreciation Society will pack our tent with a far lighter heart following our Welsh champion signing on for longer and better times. There are not many Gareth Bales in this football world. There are quite a lot of Luka Modrics.
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Our pub had forgotten how long Bale has been with us until reading Jim Duggan's preview on Topspurs.. Entering his 6th season and ready to carry the world before him. He may need to given our front line could be led by Harry Kane. Not black humour but reality as we go to Newcastle.
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Arrivals ... Goals ... Waiting ...
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Gylfi surname unpronounceable and even harder to spell does look to have attacking midfield goals in him. The Van man too but a peek under this seasons new model bonnet certainly shows a lack of horsepower up front.
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Manchester United have Rooney, Wellbeck, the little pea person, and when he gets a game, Berbatov. Yes the man who led Spurs line before his move.
Manchester Citeh have Aguerro, Balotelli, Tevez and Dzeko. Chelsea chime in with Torres, Hazard,Sturridge etc. Even Arsenal have Podolski, Giroud and RVP as it stands.
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Spurs, well with Jermain and Harry, we are having a larf. Still surely Ade returns. Stay tuned and before we go back to those arrivals ...
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The New Boy ...
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We lost what many thought to be the classic used car salesman. Don't call me dodgy Terry. Don't call me a wheeler dealer. Harry Redknapp foretold and was responsible for his own farewell.
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No long term regrets from our pub. Job well done. But the predicted seismic event has not hit White Hart Lane. Curious lack of player mutinies, no rushes on the local shops for raincoats, just a fresh new face telling it like it is.
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At least Andre has ditched the belted raincoat look albeit we are still nominally in summer. As well the managerial vocabulary has improved. Not so much "triffic" and certainly no sign of that word "project". Indeed his press conferences and media dalliances thus far have largely been a refreshing change from the winner gets all, every journalist wins a quote scenarios of our man from Sandhurst.
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Harry was apt to play the field and of course it led to his downfall. Yes Spurs, yes England, no Spurs, yes players don't need me, no from England, yes again to Spurs, and yes players now need me now I'm not distracted by England speculation. No Harry. A step too far Harry said Daniel.
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Our pub reckon obvious early days for Andre. Its a results business but we are quietly confident and happily  tipping a few down the hatch ...
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At A Kent Pub.
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Don't worry we are not shirking the issue. Our predictions are Spurs again vying for fourth, the Gareth Bale Appreciation Society to go from strength to strength,only to be rivalled by another amazing White Hart Lane Champion.
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The recent captain of Brazil will join Gareth on the podium in equal measure. Our unabashed admiration for both Gareth and Sandro is an exciting prospect. Who needs the little Croatian.
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Another champion had his last innings in Test Cricket on this day back in 1948. Sir Donald Bradman but just our Don to all across the world.
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 Cheers ... if only Daniel buys an onion bagger we are better than last year ... Greg Meyer    coys.
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Ps
     This column was written to the tune of Last Laugh by Mark Knopfler and Van Morrison ... lets hope our Lilywhites enjoy the very last laugh this season.

(Note: this piece appeared as part of Jim Duggan's 'Topspurs' pre-season review)

Video spot.
A silent tribute to the last time we played Newcastle. There's a few old friends missing this time round. Not the best visuals either but I think you'll get the point.

6 comments:

elwehbi said...

Fun post!

I feel good about the Newcastle game. I'm not even expecting a win; however, I do believe that if we play the same way we played the first 15 minutes against Valencia (friendly match), we could have a decent chance of taking a point home... only reason I'm skeptical of the full 3 points is strictly down to recent outcomes at St. James (or whatever the hell they're calling it these days).

COYS!

Anonymous said...

I agree.Until we sign a first rate striker and hopefully the tall man we have not got enough goals in us. A point will be a good result at Newcastle. COYS

Anonymous said...

We'll get three points. Afterall we are the mighty spurs. Ye of little faith

anto said...

your gonna have a shit season this year.what decent player wants to join you?even adebayor is waiting for something better.shit team,shit manager.
on a lighter note...cazorla looks good doesnt he

Ed Moloney said...

FYI: http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/jeff-stelling-presenter-predicts-gloomy-seasons-for-tottenhams-andre-villasboas-and-chelseas-roberto-di-matteo-8046752.html

Ed Moloney said...

The above decoded. The media loved 'Arry because he was a gossipy source and always good for a quote but they don't like AVB because he is not 'Arry and he is a foreigner who rubbed Terry and Lampard the wrong way, and they are our boys! So the knives will be out for our new manager from the get-go.

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