Not even these two and Harry as 'Deep Throat'
could lay a finger on Andres for the moment..
The JimmyG2 Column
The Football desk of your average daily paper.
The Chief reporter and an eager young newshound in conference.
Morning Chief. What shall I do with the Tottenham files? Bin 'em?
'No. Better keep them another week. You know what Spurs are like. Just when they think they're out of the woods a bloody great tree falls right on their heads. Happens every week'.
'Well they looked in pretty good nick on Sunday against Reading'
Exactly, Reading. They've got a hectic week ahead and the Villas Boas 'three games to save job' headline could easily be back on'.
'What shall I do in the meantime Chief, switch to Rogers at Liverpool?'
'Tricky one that son with it being Hillsborough Report week. Better lay off them for a few days. We don't want to get the labelled 'insensitive' now do we.'
'I've put the Tottenham game report on your desk Chief under the headline 'Spurs tear Reading apart'. Is that a bit too positive do you think?'
Bloody hell boy , you can't go from 'Levy gamble on AVB comes unstuck' to that. Be positively negative like I showed you. Go with ' Defoe fails to secure match ball'.
OK Chief , I'll file the Spurs stuff under ' Accidents waiting to happen' and we will just have to keep our fingers crossed.'
Good. In the meantime do some background research on Rogers and Liverpool. Check Wikipedia, if all else fails make it up. Most of Wiki is invented anyway. Those Americans are as quick on the trigger as the Russians and David Levy. By October even Lawrenson might be predicting them to lose.
He already has this week Boss. How about, 'Gerrard to retire if Liverpool relegated' as an opener.?
' Nice. Or ' Carroll confident West Ham to finish above Liverpool' You know, subtle stuff, nothing too obvious and then we can go with the 'Rogers, three games to save job' next week
I'm on it Chief. Any mileage in digging up some sour grapes from Harry? You know 70 page dossiers and stuff.?
No let it lie for the moment. AVB seems to have got the media side under control; he's being dignified; the team's playing well; Bale's scored for the first time since January; they're in the top half of the table; all his team selections paid off and even the substitutions worked a treat. But he's only got a stay of execution, not a pardon.
' Gotcha. gGve him a bit of rope eh Chief and we might get an invitation to the funeral.'
Don't start pressing the suit yet boy. It's a long season and AVB has missed the bullet for now. We've plenty of other fish to fry so we don't need to put all our eggs in one basket'.
'That's beautiful style Boss. They don't call you the Headline Hitman for nothing. Actually I quite like Spurs'.
'Don't get involved in all that hope and despair stuff my lad. Leave that for the Bloggers. They love all that shit'.
'You mean I can't have a favourite team?
Nope. You need a clear and clinical eye if your gonna dish the dirt to all and sundry. Equal prejudice all round it's the basis of our integrity. Apart from Sir Alex and Paul Scholes of course.
Seems a bit mean Chief. Am I hard enough for this job?
'I've told you before boy, it's not personal. It's business.. Rogers, AVB, Hughes, Mancini, Di Matteo. I don't care who it is .Someones gotta fall. As long as it's not our circulation. Remember you're only three poor headlines away from the sack in this job'.
OK Boss I'm on my way. 'Lazio, Lazio, Lazio'. Might tell us something when we see the team for Thursday. Did you see him go mad after the goals and then turn round and indicate that everyone should keep calm. I could get to like him'.
' Concentrate boy. You'll never make a sports' reporter if you have favourites. It didn't do Redknapp any good did it? That's apart from Sir Alex of course. Bring me the Liverpool stuff by Friday and we'll review our options'. We'll think about Mancini after the Real Madrid game. Look at the motto on my desk. 'The bigger they come the harder they fall'. Look and learn boy. Look and learn'.
MOM against Reading : Vertonghen, although Sandro had a good game at last, and Lennon, and of course Defoe. ( scored 2 missed 3 but only offside once)
Tottenham starting eleven for Thursday:
Lloris/ Naughton, Dawson,Coulker, Vertonghen/ Livermore, Jenas,Huddlestone/ Dempsey Adebayor, Townsend.
He wouldn't play virtually a second eleven just to prove a point, would he? No probably not. Vertonghen as DM perhaps with Walker at right back. No there's Sunday to think of. Strong team, balanced team, give the squad members a chance? Bale, Sandro, Vertonghen and Defoe on the bench just in case. What do you think?
Jimmy's video and statistics spot.The Lilywhites are unbeaten at home to Italian sides in Europe (W2 D1).
Lazio have only won two of their last 11 European matches (D3 L6).
The Italians have only won on one of seven trips to England in European competition (D1 L5): 2-1 at Chelsea in the 1999/00 Champions League.(Courtesy Yahoo)
No problem there then.
But here's Spurs in the1984 Final against Anderlecht.
10 minutes of pure nostalgia to get you in the mood.
Even if you've seen it before the tension still gets to you. Apologies for the poor picture quality but the sounds really good. Do you really want to go through all this sort of thing again? Of course you do, starting Thursday.