The Blog that's not always wrong.

Monday, 12 November 2012

Lights, Camera, Inaction.

Let's get this show on the road
before the wheels come off good and proper

The JimmyG2 Column
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As weeks go this was one of the more forgettable ones. The curtain rose on a tragedy at home to Wigan. An entertaining side show followed against Maribor but the week ended in a disappointing flop in Manchester at the main event. At least we weren't booed off the stage.

Even Maribor was marred by a scene from the Theatre of the Absurd where Naughton and Lloris in a brief two hander contrived to give our average opponents the prize of an away goal at WHL. Something they can store in their memories if not in their trophy cabinet.

Defoe took the starring role and helped himself to a hat-trick. The Big Tom, Little Tom side-show made its first appearance, was well received and had some favourable reviews but as AVB discovered you get no plaudits for doing what everyone expected you to do in the first place.

The Etihad was the biggest   and at the end we fluffed our lines and corpsed. Big Tom kept his place but Little Tom was a mere understudy this time. In Act 1 the boy Caulker stepped up under the spotlights and converted a Big Tom free kick.

In Act 2 one of the many multi million stars hanging around the Auditorium equalised. In Act 3 Just as the Fat Lady was clearing her throat yet another multi million pound bit part player delivered the funeral oration. We were beaten by our own timidity and the power of money.

Sandro returned and took centre stage; Adebayor delivered his lines with style and grace and Caulker performed with a presence that belied his youth. The other members of the ensemble all vied with each other for the role of anti hero. Dempsey a mere shadow of his former Fulham self won that particular critics award by some distance.

We have slipped down to 7th in the Premiership just behind er.....West Brom and West Ham. Next up on our little tour are Arsenal and if we lose that, and we well might, then AVB will be barely ahead of the baying crowd demanding their money back.

 If you don't want to see our descent into MTM (Mid Table Mediocrity) then look away now. It could be a bloodbath in the final act that will put Hamlet to shame.

So it might get worse before it gets better and it might not get better until after the Pantomime season. Not until some or all of Kaboul, Parker, and Benny return; until Lloris takes up his rightful position in goal;  Adebayor takes a leading role and until Levy backs his manager in the next window.

All this tactics bollocks is to a large extent...bollocks. Mancini outwits AVB? No he just selects another from his retinue of strolling players a leaner, hungrier, taller super sub to deliver the coup de grace. Duly selected and delivered.

Football is basically a simple game but no player at whatever age or level has ever been told to 'fuckin run abaaht a bit'.  Not even under Harry. You have one tall idiot in goal who isn't even a proper footballer. In front of him you have three or four people whose job is basically to interfere with the opposition attempts to make the game entertaining.

Two or three fetchers and carriers who help out wherever they can, forward or back and a couple or three, whoever is left over, attackers who try to combine to whack the ball past the tall crazy guy at the other end.

In the past we have tried to do this with a certain style and grace but this is not obligatory as many teams even in the Premiership prove. It's not that difficult,  demonstrated by the fact that even footballers become quite good at it.
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 This is going to be a behind the sofa season as this week has demonstrated. If you can't stand the heat leave the washing up to somebody else. AVB could have put Little Tom in for Man. City but he hasn't got the breathing space from fans or results to be that adventurous. Perhaps the players need to improvise a bit more, go off script or even off plot if necessary, express themselves a little but without falling off the stage.

AVB needs to check on his credit rating at the Bank of Daniel Levy and if he's solvent he needs to be bold and keep it simple until help arrives after Xmas and I include Dembele, Parker and Kaboul in the cast list. There are quite a few young talents backstage who might be willing and able to step up.
Caulker , Falque and Carroll have already shown promise at audition.

Let's get the show back on the road. The rehearsal period has gone on long enough. At the moment it's 'Lights, Camera, Inaction'. The prompt copy needs amending otherwise the curtain will fall on AVB's brief Tottenham career which is not what 'Musings' want at all.

Jimmy's Video  Spot.
Brave header from Caulker (0-1). Unfortunate assist for the equaliser from Walker. (1-1)  Dawson  asleep  with 3 minutes to go (2-1)
 All the goals but no sound. Do your own commentary why don't you.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

to me we have no quality in midfield huddlestone was like acarthourse to slow whatshould have happened was levy 2 sallow his pride and got berbi backinstead off dempseyif we dont wake up we will b out off every thinga and b a m t team avb is not the right man

Anonymous said...

When we go a goal up or two, AVB sets the team up very deep and negative and lets the other team attack us at will - just like when he managed Chelsea. Not good enough when we have pace in Bale & Lennon to attack. It appears AVB has not improved his tactics enough since his Chelsea time!!

If we finish this season out side the top 6 then AVB will be sacked, and rightly so. Roll on his sacking!!!!

Ed Moloney said...

jimmy, you blame dawson for man city's winning goal. ok, he played a part but the real culprit is the bald american in goal who should by now be on his way back across the atlantic where he can start collecting social security checks!
he is to blame because he effectively plays for the opposition every time he stands between the sticks for tottenham and he does this with his big ignorant, unaimed hoofs up the park, a tactic that is designed almost flawlessly to ensure that the ball returns to the opposition every time. and so it goes on, and on, and on for much of the 90 minutes..... except occasionally a lucky hoof makes its way to a spurs player and mr friedel gets a brief respote. the fact that he continued to do this on sunday even after the tall tongan was inexplicably replaced by the tiny brit - leaving the helpless dempsey still on the pitch - demonstrates a complete absence of human intelligence, both on his part and his manager. where is hugo lloris? am i the only one thinking and saying this?

JimmyG2 said...

ED Moloney
Ignored Friedel's role because it is clear to almost everyonme that Lloris should be playing ASAP. At fault for both goals though others were culpable.
Would LLoris have saved them? Who knows.

First and second posters
11 games in is not the time to make such a judgement on AVB. Needs a whole season at least.
He and Levy should be building for next season
and I will be surprised if we finish top six unless we splash some cash in January.
Berbatov is not an option. He burnt that bridge long ago.

Ed Moloney said...

you missed my point entirely. the question is not whether lloris could have saved those goals. it is that in relation to the second goal lloris would have been less likely to have created the conditions that led to it, i.e. a big ignorant hoof up the park which, as with most of such efforts by friedel, landed at the feet or on the head of a man city player and then led to an attack which led to the goal. you say that everyone recognizes the need for lloris to take over. wrong. the one man who counts has not yet arrived at that point. his initials are AVB. and that is becoming the problem with this team, unwilling though you are, jimmy, to entertain such a treasonous thought!

alwyn said...

shortly after the equaliser, i think Bale smashed a really strong shot which bounced off Hart. a slightly different angle and it probably would've gone in, we'd be 1-2 up, nothing worst than a draw - not bad for any team at the Etihad.

that's how close football games can get?

i agree totally, Jimmy, that we were timid. psychologically we still don't **believe** we're champions sigh. then again was it only this January that we came back from two goals down at the same venue?

hope we bring THAT spirit to the Emirates, eh? COYS.

Ed Moloney said...

alwyn.....and if man city's players had eaten tainted bacon for breakfast instead of scrambled eggs they might have come down with the runs and we would have won......and if AVB wasn't constipated, and mancini had gone to monaco, and if 'arry had brought on defoe in the villa match and if alex ferguson's mum had been born a lesbian and if jimmy didn't spend all his time in pubs in kent, and if, and if........

IKnowAlanGilzean said...

I don't think there's too much wrong with the formation or the idea of holding on to a goal lead and trying to close the game out or by a swift counter for the coup de grace. We just don't seem to be very good at it.

I think, hope, AVB was brought in as part of a mid-long-term plan. We're a weaker side than last year because of personnel not tactics or the manager. Harry without Modric and VdV? Doesn't bear thinking about.

AVB does a fair few things I don't agree with, including the Lloris issue. He's made a rod for his back unnecessarily imo, having made the break vs Villa.

There's a middle ground between Harry's flyers (many a turgid performance too) and AVB's "disciplined" formation. I hope we find it, though it make take a while yet.

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