The Blog that's not always wrong.

Sunday, 16 February 2014

Spurs go over the top

 Careless talk costs lives.
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The JimmyG2 Column.
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Whisper it quietly, the Spurs brigades have dug in on the outskirts of Topfourville and are reconnoitring the territory to plan their next advance. The ground immediately ahead looks friendly enough but after that the terrain gets more difficult.

We have advance intelligence that an outfit, aptly named The Gunners, may come calling but their firepower is much reduced of late. The Battles of Stamford Bridge and Anfield could well be decisive although our reserve battalions are reporting back for duty for the final advance

In recent skirmishes we've confined out our only German connection to barracks in Fulham and with a mighty combination of the French, the Belgians and the English, are confronting the forces of evil on a nationwide scale.

You will have to ignore for a moment a couple or three South Americans, a Spaniard and a man from Togo. They speak French there anyway so I'm drafting him in. The current goal celebration, a military salute, of top scorer Adebayor plays nicely into out theme as does the late appearance at Newcastle of Bobby (soldier) Soldado.

As Tim says it's a results business and the results have been beyond Levy's and most of us fans wildest expectations. The carpet bombing of Newcastle to the tune of 4-0 is the kind of result that settles almost all arguments. Flexibility, imagination, and a starting eleven which apart from Lennon chimed with the opinions of nearly all  the Armchair Generals.

Adebayor and Bentaleb, both newly recruited by Field Marshall Sherwood starred along with Hugo now thankfully fully recovered from head injuries suffered in the line of duty. all were mentioned in despatches.

Hugo is making me forget why we are supposed to hate the French. Even Chadli (Belgium) got on and scored a direct hit from range. In fact we had more Frenchmen in the ranks than Newcastle which is a distinct turnaround.

Capoue (French) featured amongst them and looked pretty capoueble to me. Adjutant Les Ferdinand's defensive theories seem to have been spiked and 442 full frontal assaults abandoned, for the moment at least.

So flexibility on all fronts. Tim is certainly studying his maps and charts and the rigidity which did for AVB (Portugal) has been replaced by a much more flexible approach. A pity Liverpool won with a late assault at Fulham or our cup would have been as overflowing as the rivers of Southern England.

Timothy has clearly been studying the Military Manuals including that of Dale Carnegie's book from the early years of the last century, 'How to win friends and influence people',  and putting it to good effect.

 From Billie No Mates just a few weeks ago he is now more popular than Napoleon at the height of his powers. But remember he got the Elba in the end. Sorry.

The football was better too though Newcastle were a sorry mess and on a definite slide. But playing poorly and winning was replaced by playing pretty well and handing out something of a thumping. We will be lucky to hold onto Tim at the end of his current posting at this rate.

The big event was the return of Younis Kaboul (French) and he survived in some style for 85 minutes longer than I had forecast. Bentaleb (born in France to Algerian parents) who has ruined my nationality thesis by choosing Algeria over France for the World Cup played well in a more attacking midfield role.

Dembele( Belgium) on the right of a front three, played well until wounded. Just a flesh wound we think. No official news but a 'groin' according to commentator Tony Gale. This set up meant Lennon (GB) playing on the left which is not his best position but he did have a pot shot deflected onto the post.

The main difference from the earlier game was the complete collapse in the performance of Krul the Newcastle keeper. He more or less defied the laws of gravity and physics at WHL but he handed us the first three goals by treating the ball like a hand grenade.

Adebayor gratefully accepted two and Paulinho was quick to seize on another error. Serious thoughts of top four have returned but we have to sort out our base camp defences if we are to have any real hopes. The Gunners stalled again but 4th place at their expense is probably a dream too far.

Dnipro next Thursday.
 The footballing fates decree that Tim must face Juande Ramos in the Europa. He has many interesting things to say about his time at Spurs.

 Mainly that the club was more interested in making money as a well run business than securing players that fitted his plan to make us a successful football club on the pitch.

AVB might say the same over the sale of Modric and Bale and the failure to secure his nominated auxiliary reserve, Moutinho . Many fans have leveled the same charges against DL and there is a ring of truth mixed in with the sour grapes.

So all quiet on the 'Sherwood out' front; we are making a determined push for the Champions' League making successful sorties from our base camp on Tottenham High Rd; confidently crossing  hostile No Mans Land and establishing a bridgehead on the very edge of Championsleaguesville.

But at this stage I would be happier if we made this an underground, fifth placed column strategy. Let the forces above discount our chances and write off our efforts. Then we can slip under the barbed wire and blow them away before they realise we are there.

Softly softly does it. Play up the Europa phony war manoeuvres, we have two expeditions either side of the Norwich engagement and let the other combatants tear each other apart. Whatever you do don't mention the war.

Jimmy's Video spot.
Fawlty Towers. This is exactly what I don't mean. Don't draw attention to yourselves. Get your heads down, sneak out of the changing rooms under cover of night and creep up on them. Bayonets at the ready. They don't like it up 'em

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bullshite. Why don't you write something serious.

spurgatso said...

Jimmy G I salute you,something not serious and amusing ,containing a lot truth,mention in dispatches for you my lad.

Tyrone Hardman said...

Funny as...

Anonymous said...

brilliant

alwyn said...

brillian! "Krul treated the ball like a hand grenade" hahaha

but we gotta give credit to Townsend (3rd), Ade (2nd) and i can't remember who fired the first shot which fell to Ade - i mean, those were MEAN thunder-blasts which even Krull the real conqueror would've let slipped.

COYS!!

Anonymous said...

Great article

JimmyG2 said...

Cheers for the reponses.
You can't please all of the people........

Alwyn
I'm not complaining.
Bentaleb is the answer to your poser.

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