Got anything a little more delicate?
It's a parked bus not the Great Wall of China.
The JimmyG2 Column
.A very hearty Xmas welcome to both our readers. Your not expecting original jokes for the sort of money you're paying, Shirley? A fun-packed festive edition to lift the spirits......(Editor: Get on with it Jimmy. Time's money to these busy people.)
Well anyway a good week by any measure. Eriksen back from his recent sleepwalk-about; Dele a little more focused; six points caught up on Arsenal; Sissoko beginning to look the part; excellent performances from our dynamic full back duo.
Against Burnley they once again provided both goals and assists and are essential to Mauricio's new flexible game plan with three at the back and flying wing backs . Danny Rose outstandingly the MOM and not for the first time lately.
A special mention for Jan Vertonghen who in the absence of Toby with a temporary back problem stepped up once again. Temporary back problems can be tricky though and we need him back soonest or Jan will have no-one to pass to.
Xmas Greetings to the fixture computer who gave us a couple of 'friendly' games designed to make the turkey and mince pies taste even more delicious than normal. Hull and Burnley both dispatched at the Lane.
Hull are probably the poorest team we have played but it was nice to see the Old Boys re-union and they all got a good welcome. It gave Eriksen the chance to shine again. We can only hope he has settled back into his groove.
We are up on last year on most measures and somehow still in contention for something or other despite not playing consistently scintillating football. We need to bear in mind that other teams have improved in terms of recruitment.
Not that changing Managers or buying new players is always a positive as we have found to our cost over the years though it seems to be working for some of the top six this year.
But all this without Lamela, Kane and Toby for significant periods and Dele, Eriksen, Kane and Dier performing below their levels of last year. But a settled team under a settled Manager can be just as effective.
The feeling that we are somehow much poorer than last year is a question partly of perspective, of where we are coming from. Last year we were in contention for Champions, this year we are certainly not.
Out of the Champions' League in disappointing style and back in the Europa, it just feels a lot worse than it probably is. Above us only Chelsea are consistently good and we may have a chance to ruin their record.
If they win their next two games but we get a point at WHL at the start of January we not only stop their winning run but prevent them achieving the longest Premiership consecutive winning run. (14 games by Arsenal 15 years ago.)
If we are to progress in the Europa and not jeopardize our Premiership chances Mauricio needs to be a lot cleverer with his handling of the squad. Some actually believe that winning the Europa was his cunning plan all along.
Seems a bit it a long shot to me. Cup football is beset with all kinds of hazards: form, injuries, the weather, the draw, refereeing decisions and probably many more.
On the bright side the other Harry has emerged at last into a starting role and performed well up to expectations.We seem to have a lot of sledgehammers in our midfield toolbox and an additional scalpel might help to balance it out.
Next week the prestigious and coveted Musings End of Year Awards. It's free to regular subscribers so Don't Miss It.
Breaking Good News.
Lloris signs his new contract until 2022. That doesn't mean he won't leave us but, like the others it makes him much more expensive.
And in a two for one goalkeeper deal deal Michel Vorm has signed a two year extension on his.
That's seven players tied down. The Pochettino gift that keeps on giving. Come on Toby and Erik: you know you want to.
Just popped upon E-Bay, Manchester seller and first bidder is a Midlands buyer at 13 or possibly 18 million.
Do we want him? Do we need him? Would they sell him to us? Would he block Winks and Onomah? Not good enough for Man.Utd not good enough for us as the old British Telecom adverts used to say.
Sorry must fly, presents to wrap, turkey to stuff, chimney to sweep and last minute shopping to do.
Jimmy's Video Spot.
Before you forget. Here's the boy we didn't think we would miss but we certainly have. As much for his pressing and ball recovery as his skill. Bit repetitious but he's not played that much.