The Blog that's not always wrong.

Monday, 9 April 2012

Modric and Bale to join Guardiola at QPR.

The busy newsroom at Spurs Musings
Jimmyand Greg are out following up tip-offs

The JimmyG2 Column

 Scene: The Editor's Office at Spurs Musings.

Right you two, I've had complaints. We’re not getting enough scoops on transfers and ITK stuff.
I mean, is Harry leaving or not? Who will be the next manager? Is Ade going back to Man.City?
And then of course the Modric saga, all guesswork and rumour just the same as everybody else.

Foxy over at WFRF has been to Barcelona to check out the Bale situation and almost bumped into Pep Guardiola outside the Neu Camp. He just caught a glimpse of him as he left in his Lamborghini. Now that's what I call reporting.

Spooky at Dear Mr. Levy has nearly completed his own Spurs Opus reworking 'War and Peace' and Winston Churchill’s speeches as the story of the current season. What have you two been up to? Greg's been down the pub and you Jimmy have been rummaging in what's left of your fading memory to evoke the spirit of the Second World War and the 60's Double season to encourage the boys.

Well I tell you it won't do. I want Pulitzer Prizes and 'Blog of the Year; citations in that cabinet gentleman or heads will roll. I want facts and proper details in those match reports. Spurs Odyssey gives team-sheets and timings for every substitution and goal. I sometimes wonder Jimmy if you even watched the games. Dumbing down Guardian match reports is not sufficient on what I'm paying you.

Alan over at 'Tottenham on my Mind' pours his heart and soul into his pieces and often I find myself crying at the pathos and sincerity of it all. I want pathos and sincerity on here as well. Give him a ring Greg see if he'll help us out. Cynicism and doubt are out from now on. 

 'Spurs Musings' this is supposed to be. 'Spurs Mumblings' more like. And your scoreline forecasts are never right. I want the inside line to the 'fix it' secretary.  Give Sir Alex a bell. Have a look at the detailed goal analysis on Windy's Blog. Expertise, accuracy and pictures. The blog world is moving on my friends. Stand still and you're road kill. Trust me.

All that publicity about phone hacking and private investigators and you two seem to just rely on your judgment, knowledge and your 100 years of following Spurs between you. Now Jimmy gives us an overview of what might happen this afternoon. At Sunderland and Stamford Bridge.

Chelsea with an offside goal in the last minute to beat Wigan. Spurs to take a point at Sunderland in a park the bus, 0-0 draw sort of game. Very good Jimmy but you're supposed to do your forcasts before the game, not after the final whistle. I don't like to remind you but your well over retirement age mate and I'm afraid it will be velvet drapes for you if you don't buck up.

There's plenty of thrusting young blogging hopefuls out there who are prepared to pay good money for inside info. And if they can't get the facts they make them up. That's what I call initiative. Young Rio at 'Isospurs' is running a marathon for Chris'ts sake. You two couldn't run across the road to get the Daily Mail.

Iv'e got an e-mail here from a top knotch ITK Jimmy, Piddle On The Lawn or some such that says he offered you 100 inside certainties with a guarantee that 50 would be almost correct. And you said , 'Which 50?' It's got to stop you two. I'll be packing you off back to Jim Duggan at Topspurs if it carries on.

Everyone but us had the Leandro story. They all tipped it,: it will definitely happen: we're just not sure when. Yeah Yeah Jimmy 'Hopefully in our lifetime'. Blue and Yellow pal, think on.

 And lay off Harry and tactics. Nobody understands tactics. They all get it off  'Zonal Marking'. Friedel in goal; four across the back and the other six to run about a bit; call it 442; 4321; 433; 4311, whatever. Once the whistle goes it's every man for himself.

Now let's see what you've got on the Sunderland game Jimmy. Right change 'one of the most dreary games I have had the misfortune to watch' to 'An exciting and tense encounter on a lush pitch, which Spurs totally dominated and but for the referee would have won with ease'. You’ve got to give the boys hope Jimmy. Do I have to do everything myself.

And this bit about 'Brazilians being over-hyped and unfortunately over here' won't do either. Gilberto, Gomes and Sandro, we've just been unlucky. 'Scott Parker is due for a rest and Livermore should start against Norwich' is not what the fans want to hear as you well know. Nope, I'm spiking all that .

Forecast for Norwich: Spurs 2-0. Make that 4-0 Jim and I'll let that through. And cut out the next bit. 'Spurs chances of getting third will disappear if we fail to beat Norwich. Too negative. Accentuate the positive Jimmy, All that Hippy 'Telling it like it is' crap is out of order.

Now here's a bit of ITK you can use. My car mechanic whose brother in law has the Bentley concession on the Tottenham High Road has tipped me off that Guardiola has bought a house in the White City area. He's ordered a Baby Bentley especially for the London traffic and is a shoo in for QPR if they get relegated and Hughsey gets the chop.

No-one else has got that yet. Headline ' Modric and Bale to join Guardiola at QPR next season'.

Video Spot.
And here is a brilliant compilation of the Pep Guardiola on the touchline. Modric and Bale can expect plenty of this at QPR, including the odd cuff round the ear. Unless it was 'White Hart Lane' and not 'White City'. There's a thought. Probably get spiked once it reaches the Editor's Office, but I'll leave it in and chance it.

1 comment:

who framed ruel fox? said...

I want to hear more about this Foxy fellow. He sounds like a smart cookie. Not to mention handsome.

Great stuff, Jimmy. Very enjoyable read.

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