Football? What football?
The Jimmy G2 Column.
.Shall I bedazzle you with the positives about Dele and Son's first goals of the new decade and explain how the return of Hugo and scoring twice despite not keeping a clean sheet are all good and bright omens for the future?
Or shall I just highlight Giovanni Lo Celso's performance, a light-house in an ocean of dross, and leave it at that? We struggled at home in our wonderful 1 billion stadium to one of the doomed bottom feeders of the league, Norwich.
But we won and 3 points trumps everything doesn't it? Aurier wasn't bad either. The travails of United, Arsenal and even Chelsea give us good cover to whistle in the dark and pretend that it's all going swimmingly.
But it's not is it? The Mourinho effect is lurking somewhere and we are up to 6th. and have cut back the distance to Chelsea in 4th place to six points. I'm nearly convincing myself here but it's the football stupid.
The Mourinho dividend hasn't quite kicked in and we are floundering. Jan is going down for the 3rd. time; Son has mislocated his water wings; Dele is doing fancy tricks from the high board but has to be rescued from the pool.
Lucas Moura is more drowned rat than centre forward; Lamela hasn't quite made it to the deep end yet. Winks had just got half way to his team-saving badges and then went under again..
Lo Celso realised that he was drowning, not waving, and arrived with the lifebelt just in time. All the best bits of the game involved Giovanni.
We have a pool of talent but it's not exactly synchronised swimming. Jose is struggling with the after effects of the Mauricio tsunami and it's two strokes forward two strokes back at best. We are fighting just to keep our heads above water.
Sessengnon is not a left back, shades of Bale, and suddenly remembered last night that he forgotten his swimming trunks. Dier belly flopped again. New additions to Mourinho's 'family' look promising but have yet to complete their proficiency badges.
All waters look choppy at the moment and whether we sink or swim; have a gala season; spend life in the fast lane or end up swimming against the tide and clinging to some piece wreckage is currently not clear.
My guess is that with other teams beginning to run out of oxygen and our situation improving we will make the Europa this year. In any case it would be much too expensive to send Jose to swim with the fishes just yet.
Many rumours about strikers are floating around from Llorente to Brazilian striker Willian Jose and Cavani but we could do worse than sign Pukki after we give Troy Parrott at least a couple of practice lengths.
Would you believe it (New feature)
Dele Alli's opener for Spurs was their first Premier League goal from open play since he netted against Brighton on Boxing Day; six hours and 55 minutes of game later. (BBC)
A vacancy has occured in the Musings back office for a Happy Clapper while Jimmy takes a sabbatical from this role for a short period expected to be about two months or possibly longer.
FA Cup 4th. Round: Away to Southampton next Saturday, 25 January at 3pm.
Jimmy's Video Spot.
Just 2 minutes 14 seconds which is probably more than enough. Dele and Son coming up for air for the first time this year. They're not the Messiahs but Son at least is a very lucky boy.